Good morning loves. Yesterday I spent the afternoon at Starbucks sipping mojito green teas with my friend Anna. Anna is one of my new friends, we met back in October at a mutual friends birthday party and we immediately bonded over our mutual dislike for young children in public places.
When Anna asked why our mutual friend brought her four month old baby to her 34th birthday party because she thought it was just going to be a nice adult night out, I knew we would become instant friends. Over the last few months I have sat in Starbucks every other Sunday listening to Anna talk about her boy troubles.
For all you lovely married people out there let me tell you that listening to single girl problems in your 30s is very different than when we were in our 20s. As I listened to Anna tell me about men who are interested in her, how she meets these men and all her awful dates I couldn’t help but think “You should know better”.
What are you looking for in a soul mate?
I am admittedly not single, but I’m not married either. I live with my long-time boyfriend in our apartment and that’s OK with me. I know that I haven’t been on a date in a long time but I like to think that I would know what I was looking for if I did. In my 20s I went on a lot of bad dates and back then I didn’t know what I looking for in a mate, probably because I didn’t even know myself.
However now that I’m in my 30s I know that if I were to start dating again I would want a career man, not necessarily a business man, who managed his money wisely and liked to travel. As a financial planner I can tell you that you can learn a lot about a person’s personality by how they manage their money.
4 money red flags that you shouldn’t date him:
Not spending any money. If you go out with a guy and he never spends money or always picks free date spots because he conveniently leaves his credit and debit cards at home it may be a sign to walk away.
Always buying lavish gifts. Just like nickel and diming it is a red flag so is spending big bucks whenever he can. There is nothing worse than a guy who likes to show off and spend money carelessly. I know firsthand that money won’t always be here so I couldn’t date a guy who didn’t budget wisely.
If he always pays with a credit card. Men who live on credit is a big red flag for me. I did that back in my 20s and I wouldn’t want to go through that again. I definitely wouldn’t want to start a relationship with someone who lived off credit and was paying off thousands of dollars in debt.
A man who never makes plans. I am a huge planner. I love making lists and I love being organized. I live my entire life that way, including my money. I couldn’t date a man who never makes plans, or worse, a man who makes plans and doesn’t stick to them. People’s lifestyle is made up of personality traits and if he is unorganized in life he probably also mismanages his money.
Would you add anything to the list?
Photo by Flickr
I would have to disagree with the one about a guy who pays for everything with his credit cards. As long as he’s not actually living on credit, he’s probably really smart, either reaping credit card rewards, or saving airline miles for his next trip!. I would however, totally agree with the one about a guy who never makes plans. He needs to know where he’s going and what he wants!
That’s a good point. Maybe he is super smart and racking up all those rewards points, but how can you tell the difference between gaining rewards and living off debt. Maybe only time will tell.