money management relationships

Say What?! Trying to manage your money as a couple

Good morning Loves.  BF and I have been dating for a long time, actually a really long time; we have been together for more than a decade.  I am lucky that I found someone to spend my life with who enjoys the same things that I do.  But the truth is that we don’t have everything in common:  he loves sports and honestly I couldn’t care less, I am a vegetarian and he really loves to eat meat and I like to plan absolutely everything while he is a more que sera sera kind of guy.

Do you and your spouse always agree about money?

Thankfully the one thing that we do agree on is how we spend and save our money.  This is probably because we started dating when we were 19 and didn’t have any money.  We grew up together and learned to manage our money with similar styles. But I know that not all couples are so lucky.

Money can be a major stress trigger in any relationship, especially if you are trying to live happily ever after with your one true love.  Rachel from Hillcrest and Heather says that the money in her marriage is not perfect, or at least is didn’t used to be.  Rachel has been married to her husband for six years and for the first three years of their marriage, Rachel and her husband always disagreed about how to spend and save their money.  “He was the king of coupons and saving money (while) I was the queen of shopping” says Rachel.

People can change their financial habits

They say opposites attract says Rachel, “I sought out someone who is more stable and responsible.”  When you and your spouse don’t agree on how to spend your money you have to sit down and decide what habits need to be changes based on what’s best for your family.  “I’ve had to learn how to curb my spending and (eliminate) my dependence on credit cards” admits Rachel.  For the sake of her marriage and financial health she went from a spender to saver in just a few years.

Her husband is very controlled when it comes to money so she allowed him to control their family income and expenses. Keeping up to date on account balances and always knowing when your bills have to be paid is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can cause problems in your marriage if you don’t communicate with your spouse.

It takes a little compromise and a whole lot of balance

Rachel was “so tired of fighting about money” with her husband so she changed her financial habits to save her marriage.  She stopped using her credit cards and as a couple Rachel and her husband started paying off their debt. “Our marriage is successful not because we are blissfully wonderful together. It’s successful because we work hard at it every day.  We’ve had to learn the art of compromise.”

With their new financial lifestyle and responsible living Rachel quit her job and now stays at home full time with her kids.  This was always a goal of hers and now as they worked together as a couple she was able to achieve it.

Photo by mikebaird

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