Marriage brings two people together, so why do recent studies detect frequent feelings of alienation and loneliness among partners? It takes seconds to say, “I do,” and the rest of your life to mean it.
It requires effort and ongoing understanding to make relations work. Try these five home remedies to cure an ailing relationship.
Unlearn Gender Roles
Historically, men hunted and women gathered. Whether by circumstance or genetics, modern decisions sometimes reflect history. When two people are single and not yet married, traditional gender roles flourish.
However, when people get together, traditions, expectations, and history can unlawfully dictate and clash with natural preferences. Try to ‘unlearn’ a number of gender-specific roles and expectations. For example, it’s perfectly acceptable for a man to adopt the ‘mom,’ role while a passionate women entrepreneur makes a majority of the family’s income. Don’t let tradition or what is ‘historically accepted,’ influence an otherwise loving and rational relationship.
Stop Blaming Your Partner
When you wait an hour in traffic, have a bad day at work, or gain an unwanted five pounds, your mate is there through sickness and health, but no one likes being an open target for sour moods. It’s convenient to point fingers or project feelings onto a nearby target.
In some cases, a mediator or marriage counselor helps a couple think objectively, identifying the root cause of ongoing turmoil. Other times, all it takes is an outside view to cease the mutual finger pointing. Alternatively, couples seek spiritual and psychic counsel by visiting TheCircle Psychics.
Regain Your Independence
A marriage is a legal union, but it doesn’t warrant losing one’s independence or identity. Men and women can grow to resent their mates when each spends less time with friends, doing hobbies, or enjoying alone time.
There is a delicate balance regarding accepting one’s role in a couple and embracing their independence and personal preferences, likes, pastimes, and so on. It’s okay to have varying tastes; being an individual is not in direct opposition with being in a relationship. Regain independence and celebrate your mate’s decision to do the same.
Plan a Temporary Separation
The thought may sting more than the actuality of a short-term separation; separation is not a sentiment signaling the end of a relationship or ‘giving up.’ At times, a temporary split gives each person time to put things in perspective and consider the best possible outcome for both parties.
No one marries to get a divorce. But, mistakes happen, and people and circumstances change. Especially if children or pets are involved, a turbulent relationship’s best destination may be divorce court.
Job stress, living expenses, and location of an apartment or home can add stress to a relationship, disguising money, social, or weather (Some are prone to depression in rainy or dark areas of the globe.), the real causes of stress. Make a change if you dislike your job; move if you want to live somewhere else; or, spend less money on entertainment and unneeded wants.
Change is good, yet it’s common to feel reluctant as to avoid a negative or unwanted outcome – especially from one’s spouse. Discuss making a change and figure if it would benefit a shaky relationship.
Marie Mccormack is a relationship writer. She likes to share what works in her marriage with other couples. You can find her helpful articles on a number of blog sites, including love and relationship sites. You can keep up with The Circle on Google+.