There’s a reason they call it falling in love.
The endorphins, passion, and excitement we feel at the beginning of a new relationship are akin to dangling our legs off the edge of a cliff.
We know there’s a danger. We’re aware of the risks. The view is just too good to care.
Yet, before long, even the most glorious precipice can lose its thrill.
There could be a host of reasons why we’re ready to turn and go back the other direction. Infidelity could be at play, or boredom, or the realization that you and your partner want different things out of life.
Before you hang up the towel, are you willing to give it another shot? When you’re wondering how to save your relationship, you’ll often go to any length necessary to get back on track.
Today, we’re sharing 10 ways you can do so. Are they guaranteed to work? No, but trying is the first step toward positive change.
Ready to learn more? Let’s go.
1. Schedule Face-to-Face Conversations
It’s easy to hide behind a screen and text or email a hurtful message, then press “send” without thinking twice.
The reality is that we’re more daring and insensitive when we don’t have to look the other person in the eye. To this end, make sure to have all of your important conversations in person with your partner.
This way, you’ll be more attuned to his reaction and more respectful with your words.
Does that mean you should suppress how you feel? No. It’s important to be honest with your emotions and let him know when you’re hurting. He should do the same.
Yet, if you’re face-to-face with your partner, you can hold hands and look each other in the eyes through those difficult moments, which can make all the difference in the outcome.
2. Pencil in Cuddle Time
Not every physical encounter has to be taken to the extreme. Even if you’re not in the mood to be intimate, don’t pass up a chance to touch your significant other.
The next time your partner leans in for a hug, linger there a few seconds longer and breathe him in.
Set your alarm clock for a few minutes earlier in the morning and make it a point to lie in each other’s arms. Science shows that touch is essential to human bonding, connection and health. One embrace could re-spark a deeper fire that’s long been buried.
3. Determine Your Love Languages
Love is love, right?
Did you know there’s a difference in the way you perceive affection and how your partner sees it? For instance, you might feel loved when he takes out the trash, while he might feel adored when you shower him with verbal praise.
These are known as “love languages” and there are five main ones, including:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
Take the quiz to find out which one you speak and have your partner do the same. Once you know how he feels love (and vice versa) you’ll be better positioned to respond.
4. Discuss Your Needs
As much as we’d like them to be, our partners aren’t mind readers.
That means he might not know that you’re feeling lonely and unsupported at home. Or, he might not realize that his comment last week still has you fuming.
Likewise, you might not know that he feels disrespected or misunderstood.
Suffering in silence exacerbates the pain. It’s best to get these feelings out in the open so you can work through them.
This is where it can be helpful to enlist the support of a professional couples counselor, who can help guide these conversations. You can read more here on how to find one in your area that meets your specific needs.
5. Take a Vacation
Having children isn’t a fix-all for a failing relationship. Neither is jet-setting around the globe. It’s easy to feel googly-eyed in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Four in the afternoon on a Tuesday back home, when dinner’s on the stove and he still hasn’t called? Not so much.
Still, it can help to take a breather together outside of your realm of normalcy. You don’t have to go overboard. A staycation at a nice hotel in town can be the reset button you need to renew your passion. As you check out, make a vow to continue that euphoria even as life returns to normal.
6. Get Back to Friendship
Maybe you dove straight into romance. Or, perhaps you were friends for years before entering couplehood.
Either way, while it’s important for you to love your partner, it’s equally essential that you like him. This is where the basis of friendship is critical.
Have you been so focused on why you aren’t jiving romantically that you’ve missed the mark on spending quality time together? Sometimes, all it takes is a night on the town to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Share something about yourself that he doesn’t know. Ask him questions about his childhood. Pretend you’re two friends on a first date learning about each other and let yourself be surprised all over again.
7. Plan Date Nights
It can be easy to let work, friends and life in general get in the way of our relationship. When emails are piling up, deadlines are looming and it seems as if everyone wants our attention, going to see a movie can feel like a luxury we don’t have time for.
Yet, the answer to how to save a failing relationship hinges on intentional time together.
This is where date nights are key. You don’t have to get glammed up every time. Pizza and wine on the couch can be as romantic as a five-star restaurant. Make it a priority, though, and try not to back out of the commitment.
8. Understand What You Can’t Change
Try as you might, there are some things you won’t be able to change about your partner. You could spend a lifetime spinning your wheels in an attempt to, but that breeds resentment (on both sides).
The red-flag issues are those that affect your happiness in the long run. Is your partner positive that he doesn’t want kids? Are you unwilling to move across the country for his job?
Know the answers to these make-or-break hot topics so you can decide for yourselves if the relationship is worth salvaging.
In the same vein, if there are any instances of physical or emotional abuse, call a support hotline and seek the support you need.
His snoring, on the other hand? The impressive way he manages to throw his socks beside the hamper but not inside? His “quirky” mother? There are workarounds in most of those circumstances, so talk about how you feel and what you need to be done differently.
9. Work to Rebuild Trust
If you’ve hurt your partner by being unfaithful, it’s unrealistic to expect him to bounce back immediately.
Instead, listen to his feelings without interjection. Avoid making excuses or downplaying the situation. Keep the lines of communication open and encourage honest dialogue about the situation. Staying silent encourages the hurt to fester.
In the meantime, work to build back that trust you lost.
Prove your dedication by checking in when you said you would, reassuring him of your commitment and taking any steps you need to (within reason) such as avoiding certain people and places associated with the affair.
10. Admit Your Faults
You know what they say about pointing our finger. When we do so, we have three fingers pointing back at ourselves.
Though you might be tempted to drag your partner through the mud, calling out every insult you can imagine, consider how you’d feel if the same were done to you.
One of the best ways to save your relationship is to admit and acknowledge things that you’ve done that are hurtful or wrong.
Have you been too jealous? Sharp-tongued? Impatient? Speaking about these shortcomings can encourage your partner to open up in a similar way.
How to Save Your Relationship and More
Successfully navigating a relationship isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes grit, dedication and a commitment to stick with it through feast and famine.
If you’re wondering how to save your relationship, start by speaking with your partner face-to-face. From there, you can plan date nights, make time to touch, share your feelings and even plan a mini-getaway together.
It all starts with an invitation to talk.
We’d love to talk to you, as well. If you’re looking for more ways to live, look, feel and play better, we have the information you need. From beauty to finances, we’re covering it all.
Are finances at the root of most of your woes? Check out our guide on how to keep money from ruining your relationship today!