Good morning Loves. One of my friends just announced that she’s engaged. As her friend I am very happy for her, but as a financial planner I have to question the motives as to why she wants to get married. My friend is a great catch; she’s pretty, polite, educated and well mannered.
She’s my friend and we’ve been friends for years. She has a lot of great qualities, but the truth is she’s not so great with money. She is one of those people who works full time but never seems to have cash. So when she started dating a successful investment banker who asked for her hand in marriage she was quick to say “I Do”.
Was it for love?
In an ideal world I would like to think everyone gets married because they are head over heels in love. But I know that would be a bit naive.
As children we are taught to grow up, fall in love and get married. If you grow up and find yourself unmarried in your 30s maybe we end up settling to find our happily ever after. When I was in my 20s one of my co-workers told me that the key to a happy marriage is compromise. I am wondering if that is true. Sometimes it seems to be. We compromise some things in our relationships such as true love to gain other valuable traits such as financial stability.
Being single can be hard on the wallet. In your early 20s it’s OK to be single because you can live with roommates and travel with friends. But as you get older all your friends get married so you end up living and travelling alone and that can be very expensive.
Maybe it was for money.
So what’s the alternative to living and travelling alone while incurring the costs ourselves? The alternative is to get married to someone who is not perfect but who is good enough. I am not saying my friend went out to find the richest man she could to propose to her and I’m not saying that my friend is a gold digger. All I’m saying is two years ago my friend couldn’t even afford to get her nails done at the same time and now she goes to the salon once every two weeks.
I have had conversations with my friend when she ended up in tears because she couldn’t afford to pay all her bills in the same month. Now she is living debt free, has a house and is planning a honeymoon in Tahiti. All and all I would say her life has greatly improved since she started dating her now fiancé.
If you’re luck it’s because you found your perfect match.
Why would anyone get married if they didn’t find their perfect match? Maybe it’s for money or maybe money is just an added bonus. I don’t believe there is such a thing as a perfect relationship, just like there’s no such thing as a perfect family. However I do believe there is perfect for me.
The qualities I look for in a relationship may not be the same as the qualities my friend looks for in her relationship and vice versa. At the end of the day if you get married and you are happy, regardless of any alternative motives, I guess that’s all that matters.
Photo by momo