Remember how I mentioned I am making a second sacrifice for Lent? My first sacrifice – giving up sugar – is half superficial (for my appearance) and half healthy (sugar is bad for you), so I figured I needed to give up something else – something that was good for my soul. My second sacrifice for Lent is giving up negative thinking.
I’m not really a negative person, but I have noticed a shift in my thinking over the past couple of years and I think it has something to do with the stress of jumping from the CPA right into wedding planning. Or maybe I’m just becoming a cynical old lady? 
I am a nice person. I used to even consider myself optimistic. But lately, I have noticed myself picking out the negatives in every situation: at work, at home, during my commute, at the gym, during wedding planning, etc.
It’s little things, too. I’ll get annoyed at every driver on my way to work and that sets a negative tone for the day. I’ll get annoyed at home because I’m running behind. I get frustrated at work when someone isn’t doing their part. I’ll get irritated at the gym if someone is wearing an outfit that has been out of date since the ‘80s or ‘90s (zubaz pants anyone?!).
It’s okay to think that an outfit similar to the one at the right is funny, but it’s a little ridiculous when it really annoys me. I don’t think something so minor, so unimportant should be enough to irritate me (although, seriously, time to get out of the ‘90s people … okay, that was my last negative thought about zubaz pants).
I understand it’s okay to get frustrated by co-workers or by running late, but I don’t want it to take over my life or my days. I do not want to turn into Debby Downer.
I’ve been trying to think of some good ground rules for this sacrifice. Obviously, I’m going to think negatively about some things, but I want to get back to my normal, positive, optimistic self. I need to find a good balance.
Instead of having set rules for this sacrifice, I’m just going to make a conscious effort for 40 days to look at the bright side.
So a dude at the gym wears zubaz pants. Who cares! It’s nothing to get all worked up over. It’s okay to mention it to my girlfriends and laugh about it, but I don’t want to get mad about it. That is seriously just silly.
I don’t want to get so frustrated on my morning commute that it carries over into my morning meetings. Maybe I’ll spend some time in the slow lane this month and just coast along to work instead of fighting my way down the highway and getting annoyed at every car that cuts me off.
I don’t want running late to put me in a bad mood for even 5 minutes. Every minute is precious! I don’t want to waste it being all annoyed that my schedule is 5 minutes off. The schedule will work itself out, it always does (see, look at that, already looking at the bright side).
Worry is another part of this, too. I’ve been genetically engineered by my sweet mother to be a worrier. But worrying easily translates to negative thoughts and energy! Although I don’t think I can conquer my worry wart nature in 40 days (that will take a lifetime), I do think it will be part of my conscious effort to end negative thinking. If I nix my negative thinking, that should stomp out some worries.
People would probably even be surprised if I told them this is what I am giving up for Lent. My negative thoughts are pretty much never about myself. Most of my negative thoughts (and I think this might be true for others) are caused by obstacles and problems that get in the way of our daily lives. For me, worry and stress (and zubaz pants) are the cause of those little negative thoughts that infect my day.
Here’s to 40 days of positivity! Watch out everyone, I’m going to leave ridiculously positive comments and tweets all over this fair Internet of ours. Get excited! (<—-positivity)
Are you a positive or a negative person? What are your tips for being positive and looking at the bright side?
About B&B
Go to http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org and read about the 21-day challenge. They’ll send you a bracelet (for free!) that you wear, and every time you complain you switch hands and start the challenge over. It is seriously an exercise in positive thinking, but it’s a lot of fun. My sister and I did it together once. Good luck!
This is a great idea. I often hear some people get so annoyed with what other people are saying/doing/eating/(and apparently, wearing) that it bothers me. I told a guy that I work with that I wasnt going to let it bother me because it’s not worth it. If someone at work wastes 15 minutes of my time being negative or doing whatever, I’m never going to get that time back, it’s gone and I cant really control that (though I could simply walk away from the conversation, though some find that rude). What I can control is how I react to it. If that person wastes 15 minutes, fine, but if I spend the next 15 minutes thinking about it and about how mad it made me, there goes another 15 mins.
Congrats at giving up the negativity!
I love outrageous garb at the gym = entertainment!
Hey Amber,
I totally wanted to give up negative thinking for lent, but I felt like it was too broad. I’m definitely interested in how you’re going to attack it. I’m going to give up Chocolate. I have actually never succeeded at going 47 days straight without it (usually taking the easy way out and eating it on Sundays b/c its permissable), but I’m going to try this year to do so.
Generally I am a middle of the road person and I react to whatever life throws at me. If I see zubaz pants, depending on other factors in my day, it might annoy me or humor me. I’ve found that I can end up worrying too much about things, but when that happens, I take a step back and assess which things are within my control and which aren’t. For those that are, I start taking steps to solve them. For those that aren’t, I say a prayer and let it go.
Haha, ridiculous gym clothes are awesome. It freaking screams “I am epic and way cooler than you.” It gets bad though when I start smiling/laughing and the person wearing the insane clothes doesn’t think it’s funny that I’m laughing.
I had a similar goal about two years ago. i found myself getting agitated by the smallest things, whether it be at work or in one of my classes in college. I then asked myself, “what’s the point?” Well, there is no point! It’s much better to live life in a positive light and be constantly looking for the good in each situation. Life is a lot more fulfilling this way
I share the worrywart gene with you, and combined with my desire to always be in control of things, it makes for some pretty unattractive negativity sometimes. I think outwardly, I come across as fairly levelheaded and optimistic, but sometimes I think if anyone could hear the stream of dialogue that runs through my head most of the day, they might see me differently.
So many of the things we get mad about are completely beyond our control. Is that guy that cut me off a jerk? Yep, but my getting mad at him won’t do anything to change that, it’ll just ruin *my* mood. Do I hate running late? (I do too; it launches me into serious grumpiness.) Yep, but if I’m late I’m late, and getting upset about it won’t make me un-late.
This is an ambitious resolution, but one I think I should work on myself. Can’t wait to see how the month goes for you!
I think this is a really good approach. Your post reminded me of a blog post I read during Advent about a woman who tries to deal with various irritations in her life while keeping a peaceful spirit: http://bit.ly/e3KO3P It sounds so powerful to announce, “you cannot steal my joy!”
I think it’s great that you’re cutting out negative thoughts and trying to worry less. Both of those things really do nothing good for us. Worrying leads to stress, which we all know has horrible effects on our body. I mean, some stress is okay, but in the long run, it’s just awful.
Good luck in the next 40 days! I couldn’t give up sugar like you are.
I gave up negativiy last year for Lent. It was hard, but I went on Facebook everyday and tried to find something to be thankful for. Once I realized life wasn’t as crappy as my bad moods let it be, it was easy peasy. I am very reactive instead of proactive, which is something I’m slowly working on. =)
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. Could not have come at a better time! I had this HUGE discussion last night with D about negativity. I am a very positive person (95% of the time). There are always things that can get one down like an awful day at work or a hurtful comment. But he has become more and more negative. Work is a major influence for that on him. It’s heartbreaking.
I hope you do well with your Lent goals, don’t cheat on Sundays for this one either!
Awesome post. Totally understand being annoyed with the drive to/from work – try listening to 102.5 – the new comedy radio station – usually I”m too busy listening to it and laughing that I can’t even be bothered by the d-bag that just cut me off. LOL!!!
Today I learned a new word: zubaz pants.
For the longest time I’ve just been calling those the “whhhhhyyyy???!!” pants.
So I learned something new today. I can check it off my list of something I wanted to accomplish.
Even little things like learning a new word are accomplishments. So if I had nothing else to say about this rainy, over worked, miserable day it’s that I learned a new word.
I’m a definite worrier, and it’s not unusual for me to be negative in general. I know, bummer. But yeah…I’ve accepted it, and whenever I realize I’m doing it I remind myself to stop. It really does make a difference when you DECIDE to be positive. Good luck! I know it’s not always easy!