As I look for ways to improve Blonde & Balanced, I am focusing on what I want to say to readers. What is the message that I want to convey? What are the stories that I want to share?
Balance is such an open-ended term. Balance means different things to different people. And as I develop a clearer manifesto for Blonde & Balanced, I want to hear from YOU. This is what I want to know:
How Do You Define Balance?
Please share your thoughts in any topic area. Here are some basic ideas to get you jump-started:
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Personal Finance. For me, financial balance is when I save a lot and splurge a little on things I care about and enjoy.
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Health. A healthy balance is when I work out regularly but splurge on pizza, a good beer, or FroYo occasionally.
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Career. Look for ways to combine my passion and my talents. Take action instead of following a passive career path.
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Relationships. Spending time with everyone equally (this is tough for me with 2 big families and many friend circles).
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Leisure.
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Spirituality.
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Attitude.
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Family.
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Getting Things Done.
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Self-Improvement.
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Passions.
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Travel.
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Fun.
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Life.
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Love.
And the list goes on and on… Any idea will work and feel free to share any topic in the comments.
I really want to hear from you! Your comments will make me a better blogger and make Blonde & Balanced a better blog!
About B&B
We have been trying to find some balance in our lives. I agree with what you have written already. One of the big things for us has been family. Both my husband and I come from very involved families, which can be great, but we found it was taking up a lot of our time and energy to be constantly involved in everything. We used to travel 3 hours each way regularly, as in every second week at one point, to see family. We have now stepped back to find a balance between seeing everyone and being involved in family things, but also having our own time.
Another one for us is travel. I want to do it all the time, my husband not so much, so it has been pushed to the side and we haven’t gone anywhere for a few years. Now, to find a balance between what we both want we will be traveling at least once a year.
Great ideas. Look forward to reading the other replies.
YES! I know exactly what you mean about finding balance with seeing everyone! You can’t always make it to every event and, on top of that, you need to make time to do the things that you want to do. Awesome comment, Kylie!
These all sound like great topics to touch on! I like that you are finding a way to make your blog focused on something so important to so many of us
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Thanks, Jess!
For my fiancee and I, balance in personal finance is all about cutting out the things that really don’t matter to us so that we have the money to spend on the things that matter most to us, like travel. We don’t have cable, we don’t even have a T.V., but I am more than happy to pass up a big screen if it means we can see more of the world.
When we bought our first home, we were very lucky and had a TONNE of great furniture given to us. Really, we did not have to buy a single piece of furniture, but I remember when a friend (who had also recently bought a house and dropped a fortune on brand new furniture for every room) visited us and asked, “is there one piece of furniture in this house that you two actually bought?” He meant it as a jab, to poke fun at us, but I quite proudly said, “Nope!” It’s all a matter of priorities and we’ve decided that we’d rather save for the future, be stable and able to travel when we want to than replace a couch, that still looks great, just because it isn’t brand new.
For me, health is all about doing what’s sustainable. I need exercise every day to feel good, physically and mentally. But I know that I’m not likely to run 20 K every day, for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t stick with it. Instead, I walk 5 K every single morning, do yoga and lift weights at home. It’s something I look forward to, it keeps me in shape. It’s just the right balance for me. Food is all about balance too. My fiancee and I eat good, balanced meals almost all of the time, but that’s not to say that when we’re craving something like poutine or ice cream that we deny ourselves. I used to feel so guilty when I ate junk, but now that I’ve found a great balance, I enjoy every single bite of whatever sugary or salty treat I allow myself to eat.
Great post! I look forward to reading more!
Balance to me is a general sense in well being. When I fell comfortable with my self spiritually, mentally and physically. This generally occurs when I do self-less acts and help other people
Would love to read about determining career paths, finding a fitting job, how to stay frugal AND social when all your friends are constantly going out. My favorite posts of yours are always the ones that focus on money and relationships with people – i.e. how money affects your relationships with friends, loved ones, family, co-workers.
Good ones, Clare. I also love to read about career paths and finding something you are meant to do. That is something I think about quite a lot!
I haven’t been focusing on money and relationships as much lately, but they’re definitely on tap for the future!
I think balance is hard to define, and also hard to accomplish. I’ve been struggling with finding balance in my life for the past few years. With so few hours in the day, how do you squeeze in everything that matters to you? If I didn’t check myself from time-to-time, I would probably become an insane workaholic. It’s so easy to get buried in something that has so many possibilities. But I have to remember to find time to breathe. You can’t do everything, so finding that balance to do what you value in life is key.
I don’t know. I think it’s an ever-evolving process. Priorities change, people change, life changes, and balance comes from adapting to each situation in the best way you can.
I think your last line says it all: “adapting to each situation” is the perfect way to find balance!
Balance work (especially side jobs) is tough to do, that’s for sure!
Last night I read this great (old) post on Man vs. Debt called “How not to suck at blogging.” He talked about the importance of having one key term that all your readers associate you with: for example Dave Ramsey = anti-credit cards. Mashable = tech news. And so on.
It sounds like your word is “balanced.” You ask “What is the message that I want to convey?” and I think the answer is exactly what you’re already doing — writing a blog that’s — well — balanced in its discussion of topics like personal finance, health, career, relationships, spirituality, attitude, productivity, and so on. You write the all-around guide to living.
And you’re the perfect writer for this topic. You live in Kansas City, which readers can instantly relate to — its “hometown America.” You’re an all-American 20/30-something, with a nice job, a new marriage, and a striving for balance in an increasingly hectic world. It’s so easy to read your story and think, “she’s a lot like me.”
I think your blog has great direction and broad appeal. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and write a little bit about all these topics in a … well … a balanced way!
You are so sweet, Paula!
Thank you for such a nice comment.
“Balance” to me means living a life that makes room for the things that really matter to you (for me, writing, spending time with my husband, etc.), AND the things you need to get done (work, chores, etc.) in such a way that you never feel “shortchanged” or overwhelmed.\
It’s a matter not only of knowing what you want to include in your life, but also recognizing which things you need to cut out or cut down on in order to make those inclusions without driving yourself to exhaustion. I like to use the “big pebbles first” image–your life (or, on a smaller scale, your day) is an empty bucket, and you only have so many rocks you can fill it with. The “big rocks” are those things that really, truly matter to you, so you need to put those in first to make sure there’s room for them. Then, in the spaces left over, you can try to add in as many small rocks as will fit.
Get the big stuff in first, don’t sweat the small stuff that doesn’t make it, and never, ever overflow your bucket in the hopes that that might make things better. That, to me, is the way to a balanced life, whatever your particular needs and must-haves are.
Amber,
Awesome Post. It made me think about life balance. Time with friends, and family, but also time for self contemplation. Time to read a book, and get away from the chaos. We must balance out time with those closest to us, but also allow for time alone. Time specifically set aside for your spouse is important as well, so that you can continue to grow as a couple and deepen your relationship. Thanks for the good reminders.
I love Clare’s suggestion about more career-path-related posts. As time goes on I’ll be really interested to see how you find balance between your career and your future children and how those choices will affect your financial goals and dreams. I also really admire your healthy life and am always happy to see workout/eating well posts for motivation. And anything about your interaction with your husband (!) regarding money is always interesting.
I think we’ve all reallly grown to care about you and will be happy to read about whatever direction your life takes!
Your comment brought a tear to my eye! So sweet, Bonnie!
My husband and I are really fighting for balance in our lives right now. The past 4 years of his life has been COMPLETELY owned by the military. He has had very little balance and being married it affects me too. In the past, it seems that training was the only thing he had room for!! But, we are doing our best to fight back by spending time with each other, those we love, excersice, eating healthy, saving money and commiting our situation to prayer. He might not climb the corporate latter as quickly, but that is not the most important thing to us! I look forward to reading your posts about all of the above topics!!
I feel like you if you put your marriage and your prayer above everything else, everything will just fall into place.
Of course, easier said than done.
I think that balance requires prioritizing pretty heavily. You need to ensure that you have your most important things at the top and make time for them, then make time for other things you like to do. One of the most important things for me is to get some time alone in silence – it usually doesnt matter where it is or for how long, but if I dont get alone time about once a week, I get really annoyed really fast.
Prioritizing is so important — if I don’t keep up on prioritizing, my life falls out of balance pretty quickly.
I also need alone time — it keeps you sane and happy!
I am going to go with the word PASSION. I have to find balance in my passions. I feel very passionate about so many things that it can get overwhelming so I have to be careful not to spread myself too thin. My boyfriend started this new thing where he will tackle one project at a time and not skip on to another until it’s complete. I think that this is great. He too has lots of passions but can overdo it sometimes, this helps keep you on track and your focus on one passion at a time.
It is brilliant to keep focusing on one single thing until it is done and only then move on to the next. Forget multitasking! I’ve been trying to do that myself for the last couple of month. It works but I very easily get tangled up again. But i can certainly confirm that it just doesn’t work any other way. Nothing worked out the way it should have when working on more than THE one thing at a time.
My biggest balance struggle is between the desire to be content in the moment, and the desire to achieve the future I want. In some ways, I’m happiest when I’m pushing myself and spreading myself a little thin, but that obviously is not sustainable over a long period of time, and is best followed by making it to wherever I was trying to get!
Work/life balance isn’t yet a struggle for me, nor is money. I’m happy with both, having plenty of time for hobbies, travel and fun while still being challenged at my job. Just knowing what makes me happy and unhappy is something that really didn’t sink in until the past couple years!
Most struggles are more internal. Self-confidence vs. being gracious & aware (i.e. not letting it turn towards arrogance), kindness while being assertive & fair to myself, and stuff like that…
Balance is such a toughie, especially for me! I have yet to find balance, but I’m working on it. Balance to me is being able to fit in everything I have to do ( work, chores, be good with money) with everything I want to do ( go hang out with friends, watch mindless tv, read, blog, go shopping, etc). I have a lot of inbalance and end up spending too much time or not enough. I’ve tried making lists, proiortizing, etc, I just have a hard time. I get overwhelmed and distracted easily.
I would love to see how you perhaps get things done and stay motiovated to finish the task at hand, especially since you seem so successful.
Serendipity
Amber I think you are doing a great job at balancing all the things in your life. I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I think you have it together very well. I need to learn how to do that. For me the hardest thing to balance is my inner world, spiritually speaking. I am working on that every day.
I think so far the only things I am great at balancing is love, fitness, health and diet. The rest I am a mess and trying to improve on.
I have a suggestion, is there any way we can receive email confirmation for comments on B&B?
Hi Tatianna! I will look into that! Are you referring to emails that let you know your comment has a reply or just letting you know there are more comments? Thanks for the suggestion!
Hi Amber,
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I’m talking about the notification where you can sign up for a specific thread of comments in each post separately. Where it asks you at the bottom ” Notify with follow up comments ”
Funny, I just dedicated my weekend rambling post to NOT being able to find balance! So I obviously have high expectations on what I define balance.
I think balance is not feeling stressed, being able to spend a bit of time on each thing (exercise, time with family, time with friends, time on blog, work, time with dog, things you enjoy, TRAVEL) without feeling like you’re cramming everything in to achieve balance in these different aspects of life.
Balance to me means being at peace in all aspects of your life. For me, the very first step of creating balance starts with having a clean and organized space. There is no way I can tackle any other area in my life if I have a messy fill-in-the-blank. But that’s just me.
Guilt! If I’m feeling guilty about everything in my life then I guess I’m in balance. haha. Seems that way. If I’m feeling guilty for working too much AND not working enough then that must be in balance. If I feel guilty for spending too much time with my friends AND not enough time then that must be in balance. If I feel guilty for spending too much money AND not giving my kids everything they want then that must be in balance. See…
It’s hard to separate it into categories when you’re talking about balance. It’s important to balance everything in life.
The area I need to work on the most is social media. I’m addicted and need to balance use of it with family/fun time. Don’t sneak to look at tweets, emails and facebook every 15 minutes when out with family or friends. I knew it was too much when we were out at a restaurant and one of the friends we were dining with asked me what I was looking at all the time.
I don’t define a balanced life by particular areas of focus, because they change so rapidly. A year ago, I was balancing full time work with writing a thesis and planning a wedding. Six months ago, I was trying to get back into my dance company’s groove and make sure I could afford to move across the country. Now I’m focused on my life with my husband, creating a new circle of friends, and spending time outdoors while the weather’s so gorgeous. Priorities change.
Balance, to me, brings to mind the actual physical act of balancing. A teeter totter, a balance beam, a tightrope, balancing poses in yoga – basically, fighting two or more opposing forces in order to stay centered in all of them.
What jumps out at me is that whatever the forces are that you’re trying to balance, the main thing you need is concentration. A key point of achieving a balance pose in dance or yoga is finding a spot to look at that’s not moving, and stay focused on it during the pose. You have to be able to pay attention to everything going on around you while still putting your focus where it needs to be at that very moment.
After concentration, you need flexibility. In any standing yoga balance pose, you’ll notice bent or flexible knees – not locked. A locked knee means a pose that will topple over easily, just as inflexible goals in a balanced life will mean rigidity that can frequently lead to resentment.
The last thing the word balance brings to mind is simplicity. A competent juggler can balance on one leg while tossing around three or four items pretty easily. But the more items you add, or the more dangerous those items become (sharp or on fire), the more important it is for the juggler to put both feet back on the ground. When creating a balanced life, simplicity in all areas is just as important. It’s hard to stay balanced in everything when you’re focused on a superstrict workout plan, a detailed budget, and eleven New Year’s Resolutions all at the same time. I think this is part of the reason Michael Pollan’s phrase “Eat food. Not a lot. Mostly plants.” became so popular.
For me one of the toughest balances is the work-personal balance. On the one hand, it’s so important to work your butt off not only to help advance your career and make enough money to survive and live (thus it’s tempting to work every counting hour that you can work…otherwise you’re not giving your best effort), but on the other hand, perhaps the most valuable things in life are your relationships with people outside of work, enjoying your hobbies, and relaxing. Finding the balance between these two things is extremely difficult. Of course, it’s easy to say that when you are at home, you should shut off your “work mind” and vice versa, but in practice, that can be extremely hard to do. I personally tend to err too much on the side of work, but am starting to appreciate and realize how important it is to spend more time and effort on the non-work aspects of life.
Thank you ALL for your comments! This are AWESOME!!