Guest Post: Brunette and Balanced

I’m currently away getting hitched and honeymooning on a secluded beach somewhere.  In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these guests posts that I have lined up for you!  I’ll be back online and back to reality on Wednesday, June 22, 2011.  — Amber

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This is a Guest Post from Paula, from the personal finance and lifestyle blog AffordAnything.org.

As Amber and her new hubby G clink champagne glasses during their honeymoon — leaving bloggers like yours truly behind to guest post in her absence — I thought this would be an appropriate time to chat about combining finances as a couple.

I’ve seen it done in both extremes – “all” and “nothing” examples. Some couples combine their bank accounts down the the last cent. Their paychecks get deposited into the same account, which is used to pay all their bills. There’s no concept of “yours” and “mine.”

I also know a couple that’s been together for more than a decade that never combined their finances. Each person maintains their own bank account and pays for their personal indulgences with their own money — art supplies for him, clothes for her. Household expenses, including the costs associated with their new baby boy, they either take turns paying (if it’s a regular expense, like groceries) or reimburse each other so that each person has chipped in equally (if it’s an irregular expense, like a crib.)

(I should add that the couple who never co-mingled their finances is pretty dedicated to bucking tradition: when they married, they traded last names. She took his; he took hers.)

I like the idea of being a part of a “team” with my significant other; combined finances symbolize that we’re on this journey together. At the same time, I like maintaining some independence and a sense of self, just as the last-name-swapping couple did.

So I decided to take the “brunette and balanced” approach (actually, “jet black hair and balanced,” but “brunette” has a nicer ring to it). My boyfriend and I each maintain our own bank account; our paychecks direct-deposit into this. But we also have a joint credit card, which we use to pay for our never-ending list of combined expenses: restaurants, toothpaste, the electricity bill.

We automatically transfer an equal amount of money each month to a third account, which pays the balance of our joint credit card. Voila — we have a joint bank account, joint credit car AND we maintain autonomy with our own individual accounts. In theory, this should be the Goldilocks solution.

(Note the “in theory.” Yes, this is about to devolve.)

Now, in theory we should each have an individual credit card that we use to pay for our personal indulgences — computer geek stuff for him, highlights for me. (Yes, brunette highlights! I really AM brunette and balanced!) We’ve completed the first step: we have separate credit cards. Mine is in my wallet right now.

But where this system breaks down is in the fact that our separate credit cards don’t offer rewards nearly as enticing as the reward program on our joint credit card. The more we spend on our joint credit card, the higher the reward percentage climbs. And, well, we just can’t bear to give up that sweet reward in order to individuate our money.

So everything goes on the joint credit card — my highlights, his geek toys. And when the amount in our joint checking account isn’t enough to cover the bill, one of us will just step in and pay the remainder. No one keeps tabs.

Which means our carefully thought-out Goldilocks system has degenerated into completely co-mingled finances. I guess you can’t fight it. That’s when you know it’s love, huh? Or at least, that’s when you know it’s 2 percent cashback.

This is a Guest Post from Paula, from the personal finance and lifestyle blog AffordAnything.org.