Good morning Loves. As you read this I’m on my way home from New Orleans and as of last Wednesday when I left BF and I still didn’t have a place to live. We need to move October 1 and we have yet to sign a new lease. We have been apartment hunting since June and now that we are in crunch time I am starting to reflect on what it means that neither one of us want to sign a new lease.
What does our inability to sign a lease say about our relationship?
The question to ask is – do we not want to sign a new lease because we haven’t found the perfect apartment or do we just not want to sign a lease with each other? Looking back over the last few months of apartment hunting I can’t help but see the how our moving situation may be a direct reflection of what we are going through in our relationship.
We have been in our apartment (small as it may be) for six years and although it was supposed to only be temporary we grew accustom to it – downfalls and all. We are moving because we need more space and we just want some peace and quiet. We want to move to a neighborhood that is quiet but has essential amenities such as restaurants, a dry cleaner, a grocery store and a pharmacy.
I can’t help but wonder with less than 10 days to move and nowhere to go what does this say about my personality and my relationship with BF?
Is it really about the apartment?
I’ve come to realize that moving is really a metaphor for life and relationships. We need to move but can’t make a decision on where to live. Is this because we don’t really know where our relationship is going?
Keep in mind that I could be relocated or even jobless come January with the acquisition of my company by a competing firm and BF has already made it very clear that he doesn’t want to move to another city.
Why the need for change?
We are looking for a complete change. We want to move to a new apartment in a new neighborhood. Actually we want everything to be new; we want to live in a small building as oppose to the 21 floor apartment block we live in now.
We want a two bedroom apartment as oppose to our current one bedroom and we want it to be fully equipped including a washer and dryer in the apartment (not shared in the building) as well as a dishwasher. What does this say about us? Maybe we are being picky, maybe we are looking for a fresh start or maybe there’s another reason we are looking for the impossible apartment.
Afraid to make a commitment after 15 years?
Some people may say we are being extremely picking when trying to choose a new apartment, but I just think we are being careful in our choice. Maybe our indecisiveness is a metaphor for our relationship. Maybe we just don’t know where we are headed or maybe we are completely afraid of making a commitment – could that be? Why can’t we just make a decision? My initial thought is it’s because I want to be sure we are living in the perfect apartment in the perfect neighborhood because I definitely don’t want to be stuck for another six years in an apartment that we don’t like. However I can’t help but wonder if our moving criteria are a much needed change in our lives or are we just afraid to making a commitment?
What do you think – am I completely over thinking this?
Photo from Flickr