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Do Your Thing

red valentine's day rosesA bunch of my co-workers got flowers at work on Monday (each one was individually congratulated and fawned over, which they deserved).  Everyone was sportin’ red or pink shirts (myself included).  Many people walked around in a stupor all day, drunk off of love and chocolate (I had no chocolate – damn you bridal diet).  Some people swore off the holiday claiming it was a “commercial holiday” or a “Hallmark holiday” or just a “waste of money”.

So, who’s right?

All of those people are right, and at the same time there is no right answer.

It’s all about doin’ your own thing.

If you and your schnookums love to surprise each other on Valentine’s Day, it ain’t nobody’s business to tell you that it’s a waste of time or money.  Sure – to them, it may be a waste, but here’s a news flash:  they’re. not. you.

And if you and your babe vow to love each other equally 8,765 hours of every damn year and that no day is more special than the others, then you get to enjoy that.  Guess what?  It’s your life – no one else’s.  You rule the roost.  Go and love each other equally for 365 1/4 days of the year and own it.

And if you think flowers or surprises or spending money on frivolous heart-shaped hot pink fuzzy objects is just plain dumb, then rock that out.  Boycott Saint Valentine with everything you’ve got.  Avoid pink or red at all costs.  Tell your significant other you love them, but for no reason in particular.  You can do that.  That’s you and that’s cool.

People are different.  Different things make different people happy.  Trying to force your opinions about what is right and what is wrong on someone else’s life is a waste of time.  Especially when their views and opinions may be the exact opposite – and very rightly so, because they are a different person.  Who would want everyone to be like them?  That’d be weird and boooo-rring.  Then, it’d be like you were dating yourself, and that’d be … well, that’s okay (no judgment).

Focus on yourself.  Do your own thing.  Why mirror someone else’s life or interests or force someone to mirror your interests or opinions?  What’s right to you may be very, very wrong to them.  Spending $3.99 on a Valentine’s Day card that will see the bottom of a trash can at some point in it’s limited existence may seem unpractical or dumb to you, but it might just be a special tradition for another person.  Leave them alone.  Focus on you.

Don’t worry about what anyone else does.  Make your own decisions.  Find your own interests.  Create your own traditions.  Live your own life.  If you want to spend $3.99 on a silly little card with two puppies nuzzled up in each other’s scruff to make your boyfriend/girlfriend/mom/dad/husband/wife/friend/dog happy, then do it.  You could spend the day at the spa getting a massage with your honey, or have a quiet night in, cozy by the fire playing bingo or Trivial Pursuit over glasses of red wine. The unique way that you connect to that special love in your life is the way those precious memories will be remembered by both of you. However you enjoy a holiday or special anniversary, don’t fret over it – just do it. Enjoy yourself as well as your loved ones.

As for me, I’m all about the traditional roses and cards on Valentine’s Day.  I happily received a dozen reds yesterday.  They’ll be sitting on my desk for the next week or so.  Every time I look at them, they remind me that nothing is perfect in this world except for G (I guess I’m still in that V-day stupor).  The flowers brighten my day, they make me smile, and, hey, they smell delicious.

So the flowers included that Valentine’s Day mark-up and so they’ll die in a week, but I won’t remember the money that was spent.  I’ll remember the tradition, the feeling, the love, and the stud that gave them to me.

As long as you do something that makes you smile and that makes you happy, do your own thing.  Don’t worry about anyone or anything else.

So, tell me, what did you do for Valentine’s Day?

When Personal Finance & Health Become Serious

When financial experts tell people to build an emergency fund, pay off your debt, and save for retirement, they’re not just joking around.  Same goes for those fitness freaks who warn us to eat our greens and sweat it out.  They’re serious.  And even though this is just a blog and the posts that I write aren’t always all that serious, it’s not just a bunch of fluff.  Personal finance and health are two very serious issues.

Bumps in the road
If we’re lucky, we’ll never have to use our emergency fund.  We’ll have plenty saved for retirement.  We’ll never need to use our health insurance.

But, more than likely, at some point, we will need these things.

I’m lucky.  My financial healthy and physical health is great.  I usually never have any bumps in the road that throw me off track, and I know I’m very, very fortunate. 

But this week I did have a bump in the road.  Someone very near and dear to me in my family got sick.  This person (not G) has fallen ill with a rare, but serious, disease.  They are expected to make a full recovery, but it will take months, maybe even a year.

When finance and health get serious
The situation has got me to thinking quite a lot about the seriousness of health and personal finance.  We often take these two things for granted.  I know I do.  But our health and our wealth is only temporary.  It could be gone tomorrow.  Are you prepared? 

I started the week assuming it would be just like any other – work, workouts, cooking dinner, packing lunches…  By Monday night, that was all a distant memory.  Now my nights are spent at the hospital so my family member isn’t alone and knows that loved ones care.  I would happily give up all my time to be there if meant making them happy and comfortable.

Normally, I am so lucky to be surrounded by healthy family members.  This week, I’m getting a glimpse of what’s it’s like to have a chronically sick or disabled family member.    It’s quite a sacrifice, but you gladly do it because your love for your family is usually greater than the love for yourself.  And although some are wondering about the hospital bill, we all agree that we want the best possible treatment, and we’ll deal with the bill when the time comes.

Isn’t it strange that one of my New Year’s resolutions is to put others needs before my own?  Looks like I’m already doing that in the first week of the New Year – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

P.S. I would appreciate any prayers, thoughts, vibes – whatever – for our family!  Thank you!

Team Mr. & Mrs. G: More Thoughts on Combining Finances

It’s clear from the comment section on my last post about combining finances with your spouse/significant other is a hot topic.  But what’s not so clear are the rules to follow when you do combine finances.  Combine it all?  Combine some?  Or not at all?

Even though I am nervous about the new venture, we will combine our finances 100%.  There was never really a question as to if we will or won’t, since we became serious in our relationship, we knew we’d combine our finances after marriage.

Here’s why:

  • We’re all about that whole “we’re a team, let’s do this together, ra ra sis boom bah” thing.
  • We believe that separate finances drive a wedge between you and the other person.
  • We trust each other.
  • We are sick of splitting things down the middle (yay for never having to ask the waitress to split the tab again!).
  • It is how we were both raised and we think it works – especially if you plan to start a family.
  • It fosters communication.

After stating all of that, we don’t disagree with others who choose to have separate finances.  I am not implying that those who have separate finances are not trustworthy or a team.  Everyone is different, yo – that’s why the world is so fabulous!

What do you think of our reasons to combine finances?

Honeymoon is Booked! AKA Out of the Office for 3 Weeks!

may-17-24-08-honeymoon-maldives-beach-sand-sun-island-456 I’m pleased to announce that we have officially booked our honeymoon!

After MANY hours in front of the computer scanning resort Websites and freaking out over TripAdvisor reviews (word to the wise: take those reviews with a grain of salt), we made our decision.  When I checked that sucker off the to-do list, I felt free! 

Booking the honeymoon was definitely the most difficult (and the most expensive) decision so far in our wedding planning process.  But I can almost guarantee you that it will be the most fun part of the wedding!  Ahhhh, three weeks away from work, no worries except for which drink to order next or which dress to wear that night, and, most of all, enjoying it all with my hubs!

The Deets:

  • all-inclusive resort
  • 12 nights/13 days (!!)
  • secluded, away from city life
  • Mexico!
  • I feel a little weird listing the resort on my blog, so if you really want to know, shoot me an e-mail!

I cannot wait to spend almost 2 weeks relaxing as a newlywed.  And that’s ALL we plan to do: relax.  There will be plenty of eating, drinking, sunbathing, and walking along the beach.  I’m sure we’ll throw in running and Yoga for good measure (and also so we don’t go nuts).

I’m not sure what I’m going to do about the old bloggie and freelance work while I’m away.  I’ll probably write a few scheduled posts and also ask for guest posts!  More on that when the time comes of course…

Where is your dream honeymoon location?

Spring 2011 Wedding Updates

My wedding is officially just under 7 months away.

Pardon me while I freak out for a second:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before we get to the updates, here’s one of our engagement pics.  Cute, huh!

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  • Okay, so my wedding nightmares have returned.  I am now forgetting to pick up my wedding dress.  What the heck!  I went from having nightmares about not having a dress to nightmares about forgetting to get my dress now that I have a dress.  Wow.  But my nightmares are also about other things: My bridesmaids being mean to me/stressing me out, having anxiety over trying to please everyone, not getting to spend anytime with my groom on the wedding day, not being ready in time, going Bridezilla on my family/friends.  All the nightmares are based on real-life happenings or worries, so no wonder they’re coming alive in my sleep, too.
  • Today, on the way to work, while worrying about the wedding, I had an epiphany. I’m getting MARRIED!  No less to a man that I love and adore and who makes me laugh until I cry on a regular basis.  We may have our disagreements and relationships may take work, but finding great love and deciding that we want to be together forever is pretty freaking awesome.  Screw the dress and the pleasing everyone, I’ve got a great relationship and I am super stoked about that.  I’ll probably still have wedding nightmares though.
  • Did I mention I worry about pleasing everyone?  Every time I have to deal with a, er, uh, difficult member of my bridal party or family, I have major anxiety over it for days.  I’ll lose several hours of sleep over it the night that I see them.  Why are people so difficult?  I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here, but not everyone is going to be pleased by my every decision.  I’m already feeling crushed by the pressure.  Ladies, beware of big weddings.  When people say there is pressure, there really is.  Not only is the budget maddening, but the pressure coming from people around you is even more devastating.  You’ll need several strong friends and a good fiancé to back you up during this time.  Luckily, I have a couple very strong friends that I know will have my back over the next 7 months and on the big day.  It’s unfortunate that weddings – a celebration of love! – sometimes bring out the worst in people.
  • My budget rocks.  I’ve been coming in under budget for a lot of stuff.  My future MIL (mother-in-law) was given about 30 vases from a friend that are just perfect for centerpieces.  There will be 60 round tables, so this is HUGE considering vases are silly expensive.  Anyways, lovely little occurrences like this have been happening and it really makes things a lot easier.
  • G and I are still working to plan our honeymoon.  He received his passport in the mail so we’re ready to book the honeymoon, we just need to make a final decision!  My friend has a time share in Cancun and can get us 10-12 day under $4,000 (including airfare), so we are leaning towards that.  Sandals may not be happening after all…
  • Almost everything is booked except for a florist.  We’re just working on little things now like decorations, invitations, hair/makeup stuff, etc. etc.  This little stuff is the hardest!
  • We did decide to get some save-the-dates!  I got 200 for $42 on Vista Print.  LOVE Vista Print!  Although our guest list is around 400 people, it was either 200 save-the-dates or 500.  Since I didn’t want random magnets floating around to people that aren’t going to be invited, I figured less is more.  Plus, people that have already saved the date (parents, bridal party, etc.) don’t really need an actual save-the-date.

Well, that’s not even half of what’s really going on in wedding land, but I don’t want to bore you too much. ;)   Consider wedding update part 2 coming soon.

How do you deal with difficult people in your life?