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Full Calendar

By on August 6, 2011

a life in balance

Starting this weekend, I have plans every single weekend until Mid-October.  October!  That’s ridiculous.  Three of those weekends we’ll be out of town, 2 weekends include weddings, 1 weekend includes my 10-year high school reunion (AHH!), and the rest are just random events.

G and I are both pretty social, but he is MUCH more social than I and he has several circles of friends that we need to make time for.  That’s on top of our frequent family gatherings and the occasional gatherings with my groups of friends.

Five years ago, I would have loved a social schedule like this.  These days?  Not so much.  I love seeing everyone, but I also really cherish my down time.  G does as well.  But we also have other things going on that we need to make time for, too.  G is a campaign manager for a local political campaign and I have my freelancing responsibilities to attend to.

I find that when we don’t get in our down time, we have to start turning people down when they invite us to events.  Most people are okay with that, but some people … aren’t.

In the coming weeks, I’ll have to find some balance in my calendar to fit in my normal hobbies and interests (working out, r.e.l.a.x.i.n.g.) in between all of these social events.

How do you balance your life when your social calendar is out of control?

Categories: Balance, Friends, Relationships, Time12 Comments

Spring 2011 Wedding Updates

By on November 8, 2010

My wedding is officially just under 7 months away.

Pardon me while I freak out for a second:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before we get to the updates, here’s one of our engagement pics.  Cute, huh!

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  • Okay, so my wedding nightmares have returned.  I am now forgetting to pick up my wedding dress.  What the heck!  I went from having nightmares about not having a dress to nightmares about forgetting to get my dress now that I have a dress.  Wow.  But my nightmares are also about other things: My bridesmaids being mean to me/stressing me out, having anxiety over trying to please everyone, not getting to spend anytime with my groom on the wedding day, not being ready in time, going Bridezilla on my family/friends.  All the nightmares are based on real-life happenings or worries, so no wonder they’re coming alive in my sleep, too.
  • Today, on the way to work, while worrying about the wedding, I had an epiphany. I’m getting MARRIED!  No less to a man that I love and adore and who makes me laugh until I cry on a regular basis.  We may have our disagreements and relationships may take work, but finding great love and deciding that we want to be together forever is pretty freaking awesome.  Screw the dress and the pleasing everyone, I’ve got a great relationship and I am super stoked about that.  I’ll probably still have wedding nightmares though.
  • Did I mention I worry about pleasing everyone?  Every time I have to deal with a, er, uh, difficult member of my bridal party or family, I have major anxiety over it for days.  I’ll lose several hours of sleep over it the night that I see them.  Why are people so difficult?  I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here, but not everyone is going to be pleased by my every decision.  I’m already feeling crushed by the pressure.  Ladies, beware of big weddings.  When people say there is pressure, there really is.  Not only is the budget maddening, but the pressure coming from people around you is even more devastating.  You’ll need several strong friends and a good fiancé to back you up during this time.  Luckily, I have a couple very strong friends that I know will have my back over the next 7 months and on the big day.  It’s unfortunate that weddings – a celebration of love! – sometimes bring out the worst in people.
  • My budget rocks.  I’ve been coming in under budget for a lot of stuff.  My future MIL (mother-in-law) was given about 30 vases from a friend that are just perfect for centerpieces.  There will be 60 round tables, so this is HUGE considering vases are silly expensive.  Anyways, lovely little occurrences like this have been happening and it really makes things a lot easier.
  • G and I are still working to plan our honeymoon.  He received his passport in the mail so we’re ready to book the honeymoon, we just need to make a final decision!  My friend has a time share in Cancun and can get us 10-12 day under $4,000 (including airfare), so we are leaning towards that.  Sandals may not be happening after all…
  • Almost everything is booked except for a florist.  We’re just working on little things now like decorations, invitations, hair/makeup stuff, etc. etc.  This little stuff is the hardest!
  • We did decide to get some save-the-dates!  I got 200 for $42 on Vista Print.  LOVE Vista Print!  Although our guest list is around 400 people, it was either 200 save-the-dates or 500.  Since I didn’t want random magnets floating around to people that aren’t going to be invited, I figured less is more.  Plus, people that have already saved the date (parents, bridal party, etc.) don’t really need an actual save-the-date.

Well, that’s not even half of what’s really going on in wedding land, but I don’t want to bore you too much. ;)   Consider wedding update part 2 coming soon.

How do you deal with difficult people in your life?

Categories: Dollars, Friends, Life, Love, Marriage, Wedding6 Comments

Budget Cuts: Going Out For Drinks Just Got the Boot

By on October 20, 2010

This is the first post in which I’ll refer to my fiancé by his new name – G.  He was formerly known as Lloyd but now that I’m a “public” blogger, I feel pretty silly calling him a weird name like Lloyd.  So, now he’s G.

I attended a 30th birthday bash at a trendy bar on Saturday night for one of G’s good friends.  When the night came to a close (around 11:30, which is way past my bedtime) a shocking $50 tab appeared before us.  When did going out for drinks get so expensive? 106-art-nathan-cocktail_300

Here’s how the tab shook out for G and me:

  • 2 Cherry Limeades for me (the spiked version).  Nine bucks a pop!  They were delicious though.
  • 3 beers for G.  I’m not 100% sure on the price.
  • 1 beer for the birthday boy .

Going Out Budget Fail #1: Girly Limeade Drinks

If I’d known they were so expensive, I would’ve gotten just one and drank water the rest of the night.   I should’ve known, too: Cute specialty drinks are always way over-priced.  And even though they were so delicious, I swear the components were just sprite, flavored vodka, cherry flavoring, and maybe some club soda?  Their profit margin had to have been like 90%. 

Going Out Budget Fail #2: Too Many Drinks

This is hard to avoid when you’re out for an extended time like we were (about 4.5 hours), but if you want to avoid a $50 tab, you gotta switch to water, soda, drinks on special, or really crappy beer (which is usually conveniently absent from the menu).

Going Out Budget Fail #3: Micro Brews/ High Quality Beer

The beers that G ordered were those fancy beers like Hoegaarden or Stella Artois.  While these beers are tasty and superior to light beers, they’re also $2 or $3 more expensive.  Since these brews come with such a ridiculous mark-up, we usually try to buy them in 6-pack form at the liquor store.

Going Out Budget Fail #4: Tipping

I don’t know what the going tip rate for a cocktail waitress is (considering all they do is walk to and from the bar that is 5 feet away from our table), but we usually aim for that 20% range (which is low for G – he has ridiculous tipping habits).  Of course, tipping is a direct result of how much you wasted on liquid entertainment, so if we’d just lightened our load on the drinks, we could have tipped much less.

Going Out Budget Fail #5: Trendy Bars

Ugh.  How is one supposed to remain cool and hip when trendy bars and restaurants are so expensive?  I really love this particular bar, too.  Luckily, it’s a good 30 minute drive from my apartment, so I don’t make it there often.  I’ve even been to their happy hour and it’s expensive!  Note to trendy bar: Five dollars for a drink does not a good happy hour make!  I prefer those $1.50-$2.00 happy hour prices.  Long story short: being trendy isn’t frugal – whether you’re talking fashion or bar-hopping.

I’m guess I shouldn’t get too worked up over it.  G and I have converted to a much more calm and conservative lifestyle over the past several years.  We’re in bed way too early most weekends and consider dinner and a movie the perfect Friday night out.  Still, $50 for liquid entertainment over the course of 4.5 hours is expensive.  After that tab, I couldn’t be more happy that we hardly ever go out anymore, but next time we do, we’re gonna think twice before we place our order.

Do you go out a lot?  Do you find it expensive?  What are your tips and tricks for staying on budget when you’re out on the town?

source: Real Simple

Categories: Dollars, Entertainment, Friends17 Comments

5 Reasons Why I Always Pay Friends Back Quickly

By on September 9, 2010

Mixing friendship with finances is one area of personal finance that I don’t usually toy with.  Swapping money among friends and family is like swapping spit among friends and family: it always turns into an awkward, sloppy mess.  (So… maybe that wasn’t the best analogy, but it gets the point across, right?)

The whole situation just gives me all sorts of knotted, uneasy feelings deep in my stomach.  It sets off that red alert in my gut that I should always listen to because it’s always right.

Nevertheless, there are those instances where the situation of money crossing hands between people in your life just can’t be avoided.

Whether it’s a group road trip or a group dinner or a group of season tickets, the truth of the matter is that sometimes we either have to temporarily pay for others expenses or have someone temporarily pay for our expenses.  The unfortunate side of these situations is that not all people in our lives are as money conscious as we are (or, on the other hand, maybe they’re the money conscious ones).  So, if you’re going to foot the bill for some of your friends when they promise to pay you back for their share, it’s important to do business with the ones you can trust.

I always prefer to be the borrower in these types of situations.  My reasons are twofold:

  1. I know I’ll pay the person back quickly.
  2. I don’t want to be the one who has to incessantly nag my friends to pay back their overdue debts.

When I am lucky enough to be a borrower in these situations, here are the reasons why I always pay my friends back fast:

Your friends are not credit cards…  Say it with me now:  my BFF’s name isn’t Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.  If it was, they’d be charging your a$$ a sweet 30% of interest on a daily basis.  How nice of them to waive such a lofty fee!  When I go into these group-funded events, I always have the money ready to go before we pull the trigger.  Why?  Because if I were paying for the event on my own, I’d need to have the money ready to pay out of my own pocket of course.  Why would I ever buy something that I didn’t have the money to afford?  That right there would be a personal finance fail, my friends.  The moral is simple: if you’re going in on an expense with your friends, have the money ASAP or you risk using your friend as a credit card.  Not cool.

You get a reputation either way… Remember that girl from high school who had that reputation for being a partier?  And that other guy who had a rep for being a lazy student and a cheater?  Well, those reputations didn’t just appear out of thin air, they had to earn them.  And so will you if you start using your friends for their money.  How would you like your name to float around your circle of friends as the one who can’t be trusted with money or doesn’t even have $100 cash to their name or uses their friends when they don’t have cash?  Doesn’t sound like the reputation I want.  On the flip side, if you consistently pay your friends or family back on time, you’ll more than likely create a good reputation (unless, of course, your friends find it absurd that you pay them back on time…).  People near and far will proclaim just how sexy your debt pay-off skills are and you’ll forever be known as the friend that can be trusted with anything … or something like that.

Because my finances are under control… Being in debt always made me feel anxious and uncomfortable (thank God I don’t have to deal with that anymore!).  I’m sure those of you that are in debt (or have been) know exactly what I’m talking about.  It’s not fun going to work everyday knowing that most or all of your income isn’t even yours – it’s owned by some creditor.  In general, I just don’t like owing anyone or anything money, so I pay people as fast as possible.  It’s one less thing to worry about and stress over and who needs more stress added to their life?  I can’t imagine going through every day knowing that I owed someone money that I couldn’t pay and worrying about when they would ask me about it and how much longer I could avoid them.  In the end, it’s simple: don’t share costs with friends unless you have control of your finances.

It creates a good working relationship… On the bright side of this topic, there are those times where every friend in the deal is money savvy and pays up relatively quickly.  Not only does this make the situation that much more enjoyable, it also sets the groundwork for an awesome future working relationship.  If you know that Friend A always pays their personal debts timely, but you always have to nag Friend B endlessly before they pay you back, you’re much more likely to do business with Friend A in the future.  And let’s face it, Friend A is probably cooler anyway.

Because it’s just rude not to… Friends are friends for a reason.  They’re there for you when you need them, they make you laugh, they make you think, they make you happy.  A good friendship should be cherished, not tarnished with buried animosity from past debts.  In my opinion, when a friend uses you to foot the bill and doesn’t pay you back on time, they’re not really a friend at all.  In fact, they’re probably pretty lame.  Friends should be dependable and take stress away from your life – not add it.  Don’t be a bad friend: If you’re going to swap money among your pals, show them common courtesy and either pay them back on time or politely reject whatever the invitation may be.

Do you split costs on certain events or expenses with friends and family?  Have your experiences been good or bad?  Do you have a great story about swapping money with friends?  Spill the details in the comments!

Categories: Dollars, Friends, Life, Money13 Comments