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Why It’s Called “Personal” Finance

By on March 31, 2011

tweet announcing G as budgeter

A couple of weeks ago, I tweeted out the above special announcement about G becoming the president of budgeting after we combine finances (and yes, I realize there is somewhat of a typo in the tweet – sorry, that’s what happens on a teeny-tiny keyboard in an 140 character space).

Not surprisingly, I was met with a couple shocked responses.  But, really, this is no surprise.  Do you see many detailed budgeting posts on my blog?  Nope.  Even when I was anonymous, I rarely blogged about my weekly/daily spending habits or my detailed budgets.

Extremely detailed budgeting just doesn’t get me all jazzed up.  Yes, it is what got me out of debt, but now that I’ve gotten comfortable with my spending habits and living below my means, I don’t see the need for a strict budget if it doesn’t excite me.

G, however, is very different.  He maintains a meticulous, self-made budget in Microsoft Excel.  I sorta love that about him, too.  He updates it regularly – I think weekly, but sometimes daily.  I always know when he’s crunching the numbers because I get e-mails like “where did I spend $37.08 last Saturday?” or “we ate out too much this month”.

Even though I’m not a budgeter, that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in personal finance.

While G thrives on working the details, I seem to focus on the bigger picture … in most cases.  To illustrate, here are our personal finance interests:

Amber’s Personal Finance Interests:

G’s Personal Finance Interests:

  • Budgeting – the detailed kind
  • Detailed saving for all purchases, big and small (from groceries and oil changes to cars and houses)
  • Investing
  • Short-term and long-term financial goals

My personal finance focuses have most definitely shifted in recent years.  Like I mentioned earlier, extreme budgeting got me out of debt, but since my saving and spending habits have changed, I don’t have the need to budget so scrupulously.

One habit that hasn’t changed since I became debt-free?  Frugality and my desire to look for good deals.  I have scored some killer deals during wedding planning and really do plan to be a bargain-hunter for the rest of my life.  What’s the point of spending $100 on something when you can spend $50?  If I can’t find a good deal, it’s not the end of the world (trust me, they’re not always out there), but it never hurts to try.

In addition to being the family budgeter, G has also been assigned the investing hottie guru.  Investing interests him, he does his research, and I trust him to make good decisions for us and our family.  He controls our employer-sponsored retirement plan investments and all our outside investments (independent retirement accounts and other investments).  He’s good at it and it works for us.

Something that I have been focusing on more in the recent years is personal/professional growth and side-income streams.  With my CPA and freelance writing, I have made a lot of progress recently.  I’m excited to see where both ventures take me.  G is also starting to try his hand at professional growth – he recently started studying for a computer-related certification exam.  Go G!

What are your personal finance interests?  What personal finance topics don’t interest you?

Categories: Combined Finances, Dollars, Finances, Frugality, Relationships, Retirement16 Comments

Combining Finances: Two Questions from Readers

By on January 17, 2011

readers questions graphic I had two awesome questions on my latest post about combining finances so I wanted to share them in their own post.  Your comments always make me think about angles I had never even considered before!  I <3 you all.

Question #1 is from Daisy:

“Was combining your finances always something you knew you’d do, or was it a hard decision?”

Awesome question!  Since I’ve never really answered this question before, I’m sure many readers are wondering the same thing!

The decision to combine finances actually came after we learned a lot about personal finance and we had done some major clean-up of our finances.  I had always assumed that we would combine finances when we got married, but G took a little convincing.

First of all, he got some, uh, bad advice from a friend of a friend of a friend of an acquaintance of a friend (or something like that).  This person said something to the effect of, “Keep your finances separate.  It’s the best thing I ever did for my relationship.”

Um, yeah.  No judgment, but the quoted person may or may not have the best financial habits … so, there’s that.  Anyyyyways.

Second of all, I think G may have come into our relationship thinking that many women have bad spending habits.  I cleared that miscommunication up pretty quickly.  ;)

I think after G realized that I don’t get too jazzed up about blowing $500 on a Coach purse (that’d give me a hernia, not excitement) and that I wasn’t a compulsive shopper, he realized it was for the best.  We also listen to a lot of Dave Ramsey’s talk show and he is a huge advocate of combining finances.  I have always agreed with combining finances and G finally sees the light, too.

I think another big part of this decision was growing up.  We spend much more wisely now that we’re older and I think that just tends to happen with age.  Also, seriously, can you imagine when you have kids?!  It’d go something like this:

  • A: “Can you buy some diapers on the way home?”
  • G: “I bought diapers last time.  It’s your turn to buy diapers.”
  • A: “Uhhh, okay.  Well, I guess Baby G will just go to the bathroom wherever he/she wants then …”

Yeah, that would drive me nuts.

Question #2 is from Well-Heeled (one of my fav bloggers of all all time, btw):

“What if one of you have family members that require much more financial help than the other person’s? How do you decide what part of your joint financial resources go to whom?”

Another awesome question.  In my opinion, the answer isn’t even about combined finances.  It’s about joint decision-making.  When we get married, our money will be 100% ours, 100% joint finances.  In addition, our families will no longer be “your family” and “my family”, they will all be “our” family.

In this situation, we would talk it out and decide together if we wanted to help that family member financially. At that point, the question would be more of how much, how, and when.  It wouldn’t come out of one of our two pots of money, because we’ll just have one pot of money.

Making joint decisions is probably an even touchier subject that combining finances.  Realizing that you can’t just make a decision to help a loved one financially on your own (like saying – oh my aunt is sick, I think I’ll give her some money), is a tough pill to swallow for many people.  G and I will have to learn to talk through each situation and make a joint decision before taking action.  (Which will be tough for both of us.  I like to make decisions.  Remember my ridiculously unrealistic required rate of progression that I talked about back when we were combining phone plans?)  Dang, I’m not even married and I’m already thinking it’s gonna be tough!  Hopefully, if I’m we’re lucky, I’ll we’ll never have to make a decision to help a relative out financially.

Now it’s your turn:  How would YOU answer Daisy and Well-Heeled’s questions?

P.S. Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

Categories: Combined Finances, Dollars, Reader Questions14 Comments

Combining Finances: Losing Independence

By on January 10, 2011

I just broke a pretty huge net worth milestone.  When I mentioned the milestone to G, he thought about it for a second and said, “I think I’ve reached that milestone, too.”  As a planner, I immediately started thinking about how long it would take to reach the next big milestone.   Then, I realized, the next big milestone will probably be reached together … with combined finances.

Losing your individual net worth
After we combine finances, they’ll be combined FOREVER.

That’s great and all, but they’ll be our finances:

G’s Net Worth + Amber’s Net Worth = Our Net Worth

I’ll no longer be able to track just my net worth.  I won’t be able to pride myself on increasing just my net worth every month. 

I won’t be able to take all the credit anymore.  G will have a hand in increasing our net worth every month now, too.

Combing success and progress
Okay, this is the sort of stuff that brings out my inner control freak.  I like to be responsible for my success and my progress and my increasing net worth.  And, so far, I’d say I’ve done a pretty good job of it on my own.

I can look at my net worth and say, “I did that!”  But when we’re looking at a combined net worth, it won’t just be me.  I won’t be able to break down exactly how much I contributed to the equation (I could, but I don’t really want to … more on that later).

After we’re married, each time our net worth rises, it will be a joint celebration (okay, so G probably won’t be stoked on a monthly basis, so I might be celebrating, uh, alone on most occasions, but that’s okay).  From here on out, when our wealth increases, it will be a team effort, not an Amber effort.

Accepting the team
There’s nothing wrong with a joint celebration, right?  I mean, I’ve done a lot in my 27 years of life.  I’d rattle all of my accomplishments off for you right now if you wanted me to, but I don’t really have time for that (but, really, let me know if you’re interested … ;) ). 

I know I’ll be okay with combining finances and becoming a team, but it will definitely be a transition and this latest realization of combined success in wealth is kinda hard to accept.

Yes, I realize that I could very well track my own net worth for the rest of my life.  I could spend hours every month pulling out MY income and MY assets and MY liabilities and determine just how much I’ve accomplished on my own over the years.  But you know what, that’d be a little crazy, and it would totally defeat the purpose of a combined finance marriage. 

I know that I’ll still be my own person.  I’ll still have individual successes.  When I get a raise, it will be my doing.  If I make extra side income, it will be because of my efforts.

But guess who is there cheering me on through everything?  That hottie G, of course.

And I guess that’s where I can find closure in this partial loss of independence.  I may be losing my individual net worth, but I’m gaining a lot more – a lifelong partner who will support me in my future successes, but will also contribute success of his own (and money, of course … that’s all I’m really after, you know. ;) ).

Did you feel (or do you think you would feel) a slight loss of independence when (if) you combined finances?

Categories: Combined Finances, Dollars, Marriage13 Comments

Team Mr. & Mrs. G: More Thoughts on Combining Finances

By on December 17, 2010

It’s clear from the comment section on my last post about combining finances with your spouse/significant other is a hot topic.  But what’s not so clear are the rules to follow when you do combine finances.  Combine it all?  Combine some?  Or not at all?

Even though I am nervous about the new venture, we will combine our finances 100%.  There was never really a question as to if we will or won’t, since we became serious in our relationship, we knew we’d combine our finances after marriage.

Here’s why:

  • We’re all about that whole “we’re a team, let’s do this together, ra ra sis boom bah” thing.
  • We believe that separate finances drive a wedge between you and the other person.
  • We trust each other.
  • We are sick of splitting things down the middle (yay for never having to ask the waitress to split the tab again!).
  • It is how we were both raised and we think it works – especially if you plan to start a family.
  • It fosters communication.

After stating all of that, we don’t disagree with others who choose to have separate finances.  I am not implying that those who have separate finances are not trustworthy or a team.  Everyone is different, yo – that’s why the world is so fabulous!

What do you think of our reasons to combine finances?

Categories: Combined Finances, Dollars, Love, Relationships10 Comments

Confession: I’m Scared to Combine Our Finances

By on December 14, 2010

Picture_10_131173154 I’m fairly good with my money.  G is very good with his money.  Combining finances with my future spouse should be super easy.  Right?

Wrong.

I’m still nervous about it.  I’ve spent the past 27 years of my life on my own.  I make decent money.  I save more than I spend.  I’m preparing for the future.  I’m debt-free.  My fiance’s financial status will definitely increase after he slaps his last name on me.

On the other hand, his financial situation is practically the same.  I might have a touch more money than him, but he also makes a touch more money than I do.

So, why should I be nervous?

Because I won’t be in full control of my finances anymore.  I won’t be the only one to say whether I can spend $167 on a spontaneous trip to New Orleans.  And, of course, it might make me a bit uncomfortable if G spends such an amount so thoughtlessly.

It’s going to be difficult.  We’re going to argue.  I’m worried that we’re both so into money that, in the beginning, we’ll question each other’s every expense.

I know we need to set boundaries.  Debt Ninja talked a lot about this when he first got married.  Although G and I talk about money a lot, we haven’t broken down the detailed logistics of our combined finances.  But maybe that just comes after we actually go through the combining process? 

One things for sure:  I am NOT worried about G getting us into debt or spending TOO much.  He is very diligent with his money. It’s just going to be difficult to transition from CFO to co-CFO.

Since this is going to be a huge upcoming issue in my life, I plan to blog about it quite a bit.  Something tells me that my readers are quite interested in couples and money since the How Couples Divide Their Money post from the Mint blog was by far the most popular link in my roundup last week.

Do you combine money with your honey? 

(photo source)

Categories: Combined Finances, Dollars, Relationships29 Comments